The following are snippets of thoughts from the past few months that never made it into full entries, its been hard to get my thoughts to that point lately, but I wanted to publish these anyway:
"lately I have found myself full of increasing anger, anger at things and systems beyond my control, anger that has prevented me from writing."
"I think that Michael Moore taught me that informational documentaries could be exciting and fun. Marlon Riggs taught me that they could be beautiful."
"It starts with the call from the police-
"yes, she is my friend, and no, I havn't heard from her lately"
he is friends with the cops and she is under 18, so when she runs away from home because he beat her again they just lock her up as a runaway, and when she gets beat up there for being gay, and butch and genderqueer, and runs away again, they put out the search warrant.
and so I call her, by now I know the protocol, hide in the woods, avoid main roads, bus stops. I get to see her for a few hours, and then she goes away again. A few days later I get a call from my friend, they got her at the bus stop, and put her back.
since when did the victim become the perpetrator. where do you go for help? "
"I wonder sometimes at night why I have never seen my future past the age of 40. Perhaps its my youth, incapable of imaging spending another 20 years on this earth, but at the same time I realize that I have almost no role models past the age of 40. I exist in a community with few visible elders, and I wonder, does 'gay' age well?"